Panic............

Today started off with pure panic because i am thinking of all the things i need to get done today:

* Go get stuff from the shops

* Paint Nails

* Pack my clothes

* Pack Connor's clothes..... and the list goes on!

So I thought before i get going with my list, i would update my blog first!

I have confirmed two mommies at least for the start of my classes, it's so exciting & I am sure i will get a few more before I start!

I think Connor has started to come down with something as he was awake quite a bit last night!  I can't be sure, but it also looks like his tummy is sore!  Will just keep an eye on it & if any thing progresses, i will whisk him off to a doc in Jhb!  Now speaking of my little terrorist, i found some recent pics of him that i would love to share:

So tonight we are flying out to jhb.  Wow it's so exciting to spend some time with the family!  Connor is going to have a fantastic time & is already crying to go on the plane!  There's so much planned but i just can't wait to see everyone really!

I won't have internet access, so will only be able to update you once we get back next week!

On the ttc front: no news really.  CD flippen 33 today & no af!  Left a message for the doc and hopefully he'll be calling me back today.  I think i will suggest another appointment with him rather than just taking more meds, as I am not comfortable taking meds if we don't know the real reason af is missing.  I have a feeling that i have endometriosis again, but would have to confirm that via a laparoscopy!  So guess i will see what doc suggests first!

Ok let me begin my chores.  

Byeeeeee

Thursday & 1 week post op!!!

Things are looking really good with Connor.  His pain is nearly non existent, except for when he urinates in the mornings, then it's clearly painful.  It must be because his urine is so concentrated then?  Overall i am very pleased with the outcome and ecstatic that it wasn't as bad as expected.  This being said though, a bit of bad news.  Connor peed in the bath last night & it appeared to me like he has a fistula.  The reason being it looked like he was peeing out of two holes.  Now Frank has assured me that it can happen with 'normal pee holes' and to just wait and see.  My concern is that it didn't look like the urine was coming out of the same place.  I have decided to wait and see what happens firstly because there's not much we can do at this stage and secondly because we will be seeing the surgeon in three weeks again anyway!

Well i got my first client call on Tuesday and the mommy seemed very excited & said i should keep her posted.  She said she'd email me her details, BUT i am waiting for the email!  :(  I also put more posters up around gynae and paed's rooms, but still no more calls.  I am starting to feel a bit dispondent, but must just persevere.

Some exciting news........ My sister sponsored a flight for me and Connor to go and visit them in Jhb.  So i booked the flight and we leave next tuesday evening (26th) and will be home again on the Mon (1st June).  I can't wait and I am sure Connor is going to love it.  We already have a few things planned.  On Friday, Michelle booked us for some massages - ooooh can't wait.  Connor will maybe go with his cousin to his day mother for an hour or so whilst we get massaged.  I think he's going to love that too as he adores other children!  Then friday afternoon I am hoping to get together with some old friends of mine.  Saturday evening we are hoping to go watch tap dogs at monte casino, but still need to book that!

Sunday I have arranged a picnic at Irene Dairy farm..... i am so excited for it as I am getting to meet some of my 'cyber' friends from mommy!  One lady in particular I have known for years and now finally we are getting to meet one another - how exciting!!!

Ok the cycle.  On cd28 today and have a feeling that af is nowhere near.  This under 'normal' circumstances would be exciting, except that it's nearly impossible for me to be pg this cycle.  I have no idea where i am in the cycle, and don't even know if i am actually on cd28 as i had spotting on the 8th May which could have been the start of a new cycle!  So ja, if you are confused reading this, just imagine how i feel he he he.  Will keep you posted on any progress though ;)

Ok scooting off to shower eventually ;)

Monday (4 days post op)

Thank you so much everyone for all the sms's, phone calls and messages!

The weekend went by ok.  Connor for the most parts is doing well and only seems to battle when he urinates.  

Friday Frank went bait fishing in the evening whilst Connor and I had a quiet tv evening on our own.  It turned out however that Frank was back before long as there wasn't many fish!!

Saturday we cleaned up in the morning a bit then went to a friend's (Louis)place for a braai (bbq).  It was nice seeing all the friends again & the kids had an absolute blast.  Shame Connor fell off Louis bed whilst i was trying to get a nappy etc ready for him & banged his eye again :(  I felt awful, but he recovered relatively quickly.  Shame he actually looks like an abused child at the moment with all his bumps and bruises!  We got home at 7pm and Connor went to bed around 8.  He's not been sleeping well because of the op, but we all hanging in there as we know it will get better!!  I have been giving him alot of pain meds, as i really don't want the lil guy to suffer too much!

Sunday was an extreme lazy day.  I cleaned house most of the day whilst Frank and Connor worked in the garden etc.  Our outing was to the shops and back.  

Connor only woke up twice last night and i gave him some stopayne around 1am.  He then slept until 7:30am this morning.

Today I have been busy with designing my gift vouchers etc and will go 'canvassing' tomorrow for my clients for my practical.  I am so excited to get going, yet nervous too.

As for the ttc side..........................

Well it's just not happening at the moment & it's really getting me down.  Like i mentioned, more than anything, i just want my body to start funtioning again.

So today is 14 days past my last provera tablet.  I was expecting af to show within 10 days of the last tablet, so when that did not happen, i called the doc.  Doc said that because i took it to stop the bleeding, i should have my af like a normal cycle.  So today is cd25 and i am so hoping that i will have af by the end of this week.  I am having incredible cramping down under, so hopefully that's a good sign.  Hold fingers......................................

1 day post op

This morning Connor woke up at 6am really crying.

I gave him some nurofen and then a suppository at around 7:30.  It's now 11:30 as I type & he seems to be doing very well.  Full of mischief & naughty as ever.  The pain seems to be barable at the moment & he's really recovering well!  I am so pleased, it's really not as bad as I thought it was going to be.  I have just put him down for his morning sleep and he seems really relaxed.  I will however keep up the pain meds for a few days, it's only fair!

On the massage side, i started my written exam yesterday & will hopefully get through section one by the end of this weekend.  I haven't gotten any clients in yet, but I am keeping the faith.  It will all come with good time.  I have managed to put posters and fliers up at quite a few places already, so I am very optimistic.

My sister Michelle has offered to fly Connor and I up to Jhb for a few days at the end of this month.  Frank is going on another fishing trip, so Michelle said she might come down to us with her boys, but it's a bit of a mission with school etc, so thought it would be easier for us to go there.  I asked the doc yesterday if it would be alright & he said it's not a problem at all.  It will be great to get the cousin's together again, so i might just take her up on her offer, but will keep you posted.

No real plans for the weekend yet, but will update on Monday.

Op day

We had a very early start this morning.  I woke Connor up at 3:30 am and forced some porridge down his throat.  Well it wasn't really forced as he quite enjoyed it.

We then went back to sleep until 6:30 and we got up, had a shower and made our way to the hospital.

When we got there, we were put in the surgical ward as the paed ward was full of pneumonia's and chest infections etc.

There were two other children in our room though, so Connor was pretty relaxed & even offered his bottle and toy to the other little boy (also named Connor).  He was too cute, pulled me over to the other Connor when he was crying, obviously to see if i could settle him!

Anyways, he had a premed (valagan) at 9 and went beserk for just over an hour.  Then he slowly started getting tired & eventually drifted off to sleep.

At just after 11, the nurse said it's our turn.  So i put his little gown on & carried him into surgery.  Luckily for me (as my nerves were shot by this stage) he was still asleep, so the aneasthetist put the mask slightly away from Connor's face & he slowly drifted even further in to sleep! It was quite funny because i was watching Connor go to sleep & was slowly inhaling the gas my self.  I eventually had to turn away as i was feeling goooooood he he he.  So Connor was put under at 11:16.  I went and had something to eat & then raced back to the surgery waiting room.  I was back in that room in 20 minutes - yes I am paranoid but couldn't stand the thought of Connor waking up alone.

He was gone for 2 hours and by now my nerves were shot.  Then suddenly i heard ma ma and knew that was my nu nu.  I jumped up as they were wheeling him out of recovery and he grabbed my hand and went back to sleep.  He had a good sleep for about 1.5 hours afterwards and only woke up when the doctor came to see us.  Dr Shaik said it's a good job that we did the 'correction' as the area where the hole was had a lot of scar tissue & the skin was very thin.  This means that within a few years (approx 5 years) the skin would have gotten tighter and tighter and the hole would have moved even higer up his penis.

I was very scared to have a look, but was very releaved when doc said he decided not to put a catheta in.  I had a quick peek whilst getting him dressed & was relieved to see it didn't look too bad.  Well obviously, it's very swollen and very bruised, but overall no where near as bad as the first surgery.

Doc said we could go home, so Frank picked us up around 4pm and we headed home.

The bath was a bit of a mission, i tried to make him stand in a bit of water so i could just sponge him down, but he wanted to sit - so i just sped up the process & had him out of the bath in 5 minutes!  The reason is the doc said the area must be kept as dry as possible, so soaking in the bath is not a good idea just yet.

The bandage is very simple this time.  It's basically just some paraffin gauze covered with normal gauze.  It's not wrapped around the penis or anything, just simply placed over it to prevent sticking to the nappy.

By 7:00pm, connor was fast asleep again.  So I had a quick shower and was in bed by 8:30, passed out!

Connor woke up at 10:40 and then slept until 3am.  Then I gave him stopayne & he slept until 6am. ..................................................

Wow well I am back from the freezing cold Jhb and had an absolutely amazing time!  Lets start by Thursday, it took Carys and I a whole three hours to get from Benoni to Randburg!  Yup it's crazy, but there was bad rain, a car accident on the highway and best of all Betty the Garmin (Carys and I named her so we could swear at her) took us to the absolute wrong street address!!!  Cals once again, thank you sooooo much for bearing with me and being my chaufeur!  The course was great, but i felt a bit over whelmed when i left on Thurs eve.  It took us approx 2 hrs to get home again and we just spent the evening lazing in front of the tele.

Friday the traffic was much better & it only took us 1hr 20 mins to get to the conference centre.  Needless to say, Carys and i were actually early so it was great that Cals got to have some coffee with me before proceeding to work.  The course was great today and slowly but surely i started feeling a bit more confident.  I spent the night at Chrizels tonight.  Chrizel & Ivette went to watch the rugga, so i did a bit of preparation for the presentation we had to do on Saturday.

Saturday morning was great, it took us 20 mins to get to the place as Chrizel lives so close.  The presentation went well & i did the discussion and closure part (which i felt went well).  I used the topic 'the good and bad times with new baby'.  Saturday evening was spent at Chrizel's friend's place.  We had some wine and watched some movies.  I also practiced my massaging on the two of them - which they seemed to enjoy :)

Sunday the course finished at 3:30 and Chrizel picked me up and took me to Carys and Shaun's place.  We had a good 'kuier' and then they dropped me off at the airport.

The flight home was good, very smooth and I was so happy to be at home.

Connor was asleep in the car & when i picked him up when we got home, he screamed blue murder!  He hates me!!!  He honestly wanted nothing to do with me, so i decided to leave him be & will start the 'sucking up' tomorrow!

XXX

Monday glorious Monday

Thank goodness the end of this provera is here!!  I will be taking my last tablet tonight after dinner and I will be sooooo relieved!  The reason you ask???  Well besides the fact that i have possibly gained 5kg's in the past week (I kid you not) and just cannot stop eating, but also the fact that hopefully i will no longer want to rip someone's head off any more!!  So from tonight I can expect another af within the next 7 days.  I am not feeling too excited for another visit from the aunt herself, but am feeling excited for hopefully a normal cycle again! :)

So the weekend went okish!  Friday we had a braai at the Debbo's which was really nice as our terrorists (ooops i mean our boys) got to play together!  I have a funny feeling that they are going to give us a hard time when they get older!

Saturday was spent tidying up in the morning, and did some shopping!  Frank went to the rugby with Mark, so Justine came over with Mia.  Aah man she's such a cute little cuddly princess!  Oh i must add a huge congrats once again to Mark and Justine, it's so exciting!

Friday we were all exhausted in the morning (due to Frank's late rondevouz sp?) so we had a good nap mid morning, then headed down to the beach once we woke up.  It was good getting some fresh air, but the wind was very cold so we headed home.  We stopped by the bakery on the way home where Frank bought me a "peace offering" chelsea bun, and let me tell you,  it was impossible to stay angry after that! Mmmmm it just melted in the mouth!

As you can see, i managed to change my layout a bit, so let me know what your thoughts are!

I processed the final payment today for the course that i am going on, so it's full steam ahead.  I will probably be staying with Carys on Wed, Thurs and Fri and then Chrizel on Saturday.  (This must still be confirmed though).  Yes my nerves are reaching breaking point already, so i will be going out to get some rescue tomorrow.  Just the thought of leaving my baby is enough to break my heart!!

Oh nearly forgot to mention that Connor got his 6th tooth over the weekend ;) Yay well done big boy!

Well that's all for now.